A loss for words

I’ve been wondering what to post here. It’s only proper Netiquette, in my view, to follow up on my last blog post; I couldn’t brush off a reply anymore than I could refuse to answer a sympathy card. I just am not clear about what to say.

I can and will thank everyone for their prayers and good wishes. Somehow, I feel there are many unseen hands strung all over the world for me, like invisible prayer flags. So comforting.

Beyond that, the news is uncertain. My father is in a skilled care facility (read: nursing home), where he will receive physical therapy to see how much mobility can be restored to him. At any moment, but no later than the next three weeks, he will need to be moved…somewhere. He will need care, and my mother can no longer help him by herself at home. His care may suck up every vestige of their combined savings, which would leave mother in the lurch for the rest of her life. It is not clear how long he will live. With skilled care, he could live another year or two. Or his heart could fail tonight.

I’m flying home to do what I can. My main goal is to say goodbye to my father.

Needless to say, most of my planned reading has screeched to a halt. I did find a book that provides some solace: Living without Regret.

I also find a measure of comfort in reading about how other people overcame difficulties in their lives: Isak Dinesen’s bio by Judith Thurman and Maxim Gorky’s memoir about his childhood are good company in this respect.

Thanks again, dear readers, for your thoughts. My life is teeter-tottering right now, but at some point it will tip upright and steady again. Words seem useless bits of flotsam right now, torn paper tossed into a wind.

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12 Responses to A loss for words

  1. Dorothy W. says:

    Oh, LK — thank you for the update, and you and your family will continue to be in our thoughts.

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  2. hobgoblin says:

    LK–you certainly have my sympathy and best thoughts. I do understand what you are going through right now. Peace.

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  3. Bridget says:

    I’m glad you are going to be able to see your father. When the inevitable happens, you’ll be glad that you made the effort.I’ll keep good thoughts for all of you.

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  4. Anonymous says:

    Dear LK, I’m glad you found a book that offers some comfort– Books have helped me through family deaths, more so than people fumbling for something to say. Say all that ypu can say to him–remind him of fun times you had when you were a kid– and the best bits of advice he gave you. How do people in his situation feel? terrified, hopeful, worn out? I often wonder when I visit someone in the hospital. Take care and keep reading. Make sure you get the rest you need. thinking of you, dcb

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  5. Heather says:

    How difficult!! I’m so sorry and sending you many hugs full of as much strength as I can possibly offer.

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  6. Danielle says:

    So sorry to hear things are a bit up in the air. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your family. Take care of yourself and you are in my thoughts!

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  7. Wendy says:

    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs*

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  8. Iliana says:

    Dear LK – I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. There are simply no words. Prayers and thoughts go out to you as well as a huge hug.

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  9. Yogamum says:

    I’ll be thinking of you and your family. All my best.

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  10. SFP says:

    I’m hoping your father responds well to the physical therapy. You’ll both be in my thoughts, LK.

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  11. smithereens says:

    What a tough time for you and your family! I’ll be thinking of you. Take care of yourself

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  12. jenclair says:

    Am going through a similar situation. My father’s stay in a rehab facility will end soon and then to another skilled nursing facility and continued therapy. My thoughts are with you through this difficult situation.

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